We need to rekindle our bromance
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
