4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize