Whod you bang
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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