I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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