You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
