Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
