Got a toothbrush?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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