im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
