he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
