remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
