Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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