You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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