Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize