there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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