he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
