My pussy is not your playground.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
