my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
