NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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