My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
