i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
