i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
