I'm lost and stupid without you.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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