she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize