i think my mom watched the whole time
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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