Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
