Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Where are you guys?
Drunk
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
