I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
