Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
