party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
