sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
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There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
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I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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