if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Sorry about my life...
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
