i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
that may or may not have been my penis.
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