Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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