No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize