Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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