how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
