i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
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Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
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I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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