i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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