I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
