You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
