More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize