the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
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