drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
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What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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