your parents love me but you hate me
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Randomize
