READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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