Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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