She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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