in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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