Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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