You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she looked like the before picture.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
