i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
