Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
