Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
