Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I faked an abortion last night.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize