I can't watch pbs sober anymore
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
only you would photoshop your dick
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
