His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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