no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
