He is such a slut. More and more my type.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
