Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize
