Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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