i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
