oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
