i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
