At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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