You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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